Childbirth, whichever form it takes, is the most powerful experience ever, and no one should be able to take that away from moms.
Unfortunately, in this story, a woman shared feeling less than after giving birth to her son because her boyfriend told her, on several occasions, that she took an ‘easy way out’ since she had to have an emergency C-section. Despite asking him to stop with such comments, he just got annoyed by it, which pushed her to turn to some guidance online.
Scroll down to find the full story and conversation with a doula and childbirth educator, Maeva Althaus, who kindly agreed to share her insights on the stigma surrounding C-sections.
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Unfortunately, this woman felt anything but because her partner accused her of taking an “easy way out,” as she had an emergency C-section
About 46% of pregnancies involve unexpected complications
There’s no such thing as a “perfect” birth, except for the one that is safe and ends with a healthy mom and baby. That said, many moms (sometimes even their partners and family included) strive to have a natural experience without resorting to medical intervention. In reality, the risk of complications during birth is significant, with about 46% of pregnancies involving unexpected complications.
While having a positive mindset towards birth can help moms go into labor more relaxed and confident (which can make labor go faster and less painful, too!), forming an ideal image without keeping in mind the risks that it might come with can be damaging if it doesn’t go as expected.
Parents who prioritize ‘ideal’ birth may refuse necessary medical intervention, which can put both the baby’s and mom’s lives at risk. Moms’ mental health also can take a hit if the perfect image of birth they had in mind doesn’t materialize.
A doula and childbirth educator, Maeva Althaus, explains that this idealized view of birth comes from unrealistic societal expectations.
“We live in a society where women are held to some impossible standards and a culture that puts too much emphasis on performance and control. The unspoken pressure to have the “perfect” pregnancy, the “ideal” birth, a “fast” recovery can leave some women feeling like they failed,” she says.
“A lot of the thinking in the birth world is very binary: natural versus medical and “natural is best” can contribute to a sense of failure in women who had cesareans.”
“The truth is that birth is unpredictable—and no one can control every outcome”
It’s important that the stigma surrounding C-sections is reduced, as necessary C-sections save lives, stresses Althaus.
“The conversation should focus on how systems can better support physiology and safety—not shame the outcome. Often there is this idea that a C-section is the “easy way out’ and that you ‘did not really give birth,’ but the truth is that birth is unpredictable—and no one can control every outcome.”
Focusing on health education and healthcare access that engage both men and women can help to dispel the myths and misinformation surrounding C-sections, which can be very harmful to moms’ and newborns’ lives.
“People should know that a C-section birth is a powerful, courageous, and often deeply emotional experience. As a doula, I know that a surgical birth requires just as much strength, presence, and support in the lead-up and after,” reassuringly concludes Althaus.
Readers were appalled by the boyfriend’s remarks, saying any form of childbirth is anything but easy, and sharing their own stories
