It’s probably most people’s dream to get along with their in-laws to the best extent possible. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, and sometimes impulsive decisions or a lack of communication can sour such relationships.
This is what happened when a mother-in-law booked a vacation for herself, her husband, and her toddler grandchild without even asking her son or her daughter-in-law about it. When she was confronted, she started saying insulting things, and the kicker is that her son backed her up.
More info: Reddit
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The poster shared that she often keeps her three-year-old in the care of her husband’s mom, and that the older woman is quite a hands-on person
The grandma, who often has a habit of crossing boundaries, said that she booked a vacation to Hawaii with her husband and was planning to take her grandchild along
She made the vacation plans without consulting her son or daughter-in-law, which left the other woman feeling shocked and confused
When the poster refused to let her kid be taken, her mother-in-law called her a “bad mother,” and her son had no problem letting the conflict slide
The poster explained that her three-year-old daughter spends a lot of time with her grandma since she and her husband both have to work. They can’t do anything else about daycare and have had to deal with the older woman’s pushiness sometimes. The OP mentioned that her mother-in-law keeps finding different ways to cross their boundaries.
One of the biggest reasons some grandparents are so challenging to deal with is that they might still be adjusting to the change in their roles. As parents, they held a lot of power and could decide what their kids did, but as grandparents, they have to take a step back and let their son or daughter decide how to raise their children.
This loss of power might not be easy to deal with, and it’s clear that the grandma in this story probably feels the same way. That’s why, in a bid to dominate once again, she went ahead and booked a trip to another state with her granddaughter without even consulting the child’s parents.
Dealing with a pushy in-law like this might be exhausting. It’s therefore important to sometimes take a break from them and reflect on what feelings their behavior might be bringing up. You might not always come to a compromise with them, but if you don’t give in to their demands, they eventually will learn to take a step back.
When the woman learned that her mother-in-law had booked a trip to Hawaii and was planning to take the three-year-old along with her, the OP was shocked. She couldn’t believe her husband’s mom would make such a big plan with the young child who hasn’t even stayed away from home overnight once.
She couldn’t let her child be taken like that and stood up to the older woman. Unfortunately, this led to a bitter confrontation in which her husband did not even back her up. He felt that she should not say anything to avoid drama, and so she was left alone, struggling to stand up to her mother-in-law.
In situations where the grandparents refuse to back down and believe that they have the right of way, it’s important for their children to be the voice of reason. In this case, the OP was painted as the villain, but if her partner had stood up for her, his mother would have probably not escalated things as much.
When one partner is left to set boundaries and the other person refuses to get involved, it can undermine their position significantly. Hopefully, the man eventually understands his wife’s point of view and sets better boundaries with his pushy mom. Although judging from his current behavior, that seems like a long way off.
How would you have handled this situation? Do let us know if you have a different perspective on this story.
Folks were enraged on behalf of the woman and felt that she needed to sternly set boundaries with her mother-in-law, while also telling her husband to grow up
