Just a few years back, speaking about mental health was taboo, so it gives me great pleasure that people are opening up about it more now. It also brings me great dissatisfaction that some people use it as an excuse to treat others poorly.
This couple is also struggling with something similar. The original poster (OP) is conflicted because her girlfriend’s mental health “struggles” are getting too much to bear. OP also feels like a doormat who is being drained emotionally and financially. Let’s find out what’s really bothering her!
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:A relationship can instantly turn sour when one partner pours in everything while the other is just indifferent
The poster suspects that her girlfriend has undiagnosed mental health conditions due to her behavior
The woman is always provided emotional and financial support from the poster, who sadly receives nothing in return
Right from fulfilling her basic needs to even paying for her and taking her on trips, the poster does absolutely everything for her
However, she feels undervalued and disrespected as the girlfriend doesn’t even do the bare minimum, as it’s “too much” for her
Today, OP takes us on a sad ride as she tells us how she feels like a doormat due to her girlfriend of 10 months. She suspects that the woman has some undiagnosed mental health conditions, as she is often moody and huffy about things more than usual. When the poster’s kids are with her ex, she stays with her, and also doesn’t work as OP is “well off”.
The problem is that the poster is basically doing everything for her, providing for her financially, cooking for her, and even washing her clothes. On top of all this, she also tries to make her feel good whenever she is down, and is taking her out on a trip in August. Without a doubt, I can say that OP deserves the Best Girlfriend Award if there is one!
However, the relationship is all one-sided. The girlfriend just won’t reciprocate anything, and OP can barely count 4 times where she has paid the bill for them. Moreover, the poster is “not allowed” to have bad days when she is also having one. How absurd, right? In fact, she won’t even support when the poster is going through her own struggles, claiming it doesn’t involve her.
Clearly, OP is tired of always being the one who has to save the day for her girlfriend, and now she’s brought up something new. Apparently, she dislikes the poster’s ex “infringing on their relationship”. Since they have to communicate for the sake of their kids, the poster is stumped by this. Probably confused, she vented online, and folks told her that the woman is a big red flag!
To get a deeper insight into this couple’s conflict, We reached out to Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor. She mentioned that when your partner constantly dismisses your feelings or doesn’t show up emotionally, it slowly chips away at your self-worth. In fact, she said that you can start doubting yourself, walking on eggshells, and maybe even blaming yourself for the imbalance.
“Over time, it can leave you feeling anxious, drained, or emotionally numb—like you’re giving everything and getting nothing back. And the worst part? You might start thinking that’s normal. (It’s not!) But here’s the truth: your feelings matter. Wanting support isn’t “too much.” You deserve a relationship where you’re valued, heard, and cared for,” she added.
We asked our expert if a relationship can work when one partner is doing all the heavy lifting. Prof. Lobo replied that absolutely not, even if the other’s got mental health challenges. She explained that love isn’t a solo sport. As per her, if you’re always the therapist, cheerleader, and chef while they’re emotionally missing, that’s not a relationship, it’s a full-time job with no pay.
Prof. Lobo believes that mental health matters, but so does effort. She stressed that it’s okay to struggle, but it’s not okay to expect your partner to carry the whole thing while you nap on the emotional couch.
“However, having said all that, it’s important to note that the girlfriend in the story might be really sick and truly needs help. While their relationship surviving this ordeal sounds challenging, it will be advisable for her to get therapy before she ruins any future bonds as well,” Prof. Lobo concluded.
That sounds insightful, doesn’t it? Well, what did you make of the story? Let us know in the comments below!
Folks were aghast at the girlfriend’s behavior, and some even advised the poster to ditch her point-blank
