For some people, the word “No” can sound as abrasive as any verbal insult. It makes them feel taken aback, as if the person who set their boundaries was in the wrong for doing so.
This is what happened when a woman tried to make a couple leave their own home so she could throw a party. When they denied her unreasonable request, she played the victim and blamed them for ruining her night.
Worse, she refused to apologize for her obnoxious and entitled behavior. Scroll down for the full story.
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According to her, their encounters at home had always been awkward
Things came to a head one night when Amy asked her for an unreasonable favor
She understandably said no, which Amy didn’t take well
Given the nature of their relationship, she now wonders how she could better deal with Amy
The inability to take ‘No’ for an answer may be a communication problem
It can be a handful to deal with a person who cannot take no for an answer. These are the people who would argue the point until they are “proven right,” and likely act up out of sheer disappointment.
According to licensed therapist and mental health professional Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, these people tend to either manipulate a person into getting their way or retaliate. And as he also explained, these two maladaptive coping mechanisms may be a result of the inability to develop healthy communication habits.
“If you weren’t taught that it’s okay to not get your way, and that learning how to handle disappointment with both intellectual and emotional maturity was part of your interpersonal education, you’ll have a harder time with this,” Zwolinski wrote in an article for Psych Central.
Zwolinski clarified that those who have trouble hearing a “No” are not inherently bad people. They may not even be aware of what they are doing. He also explained that such behavior may result from the desire for control and the panic and anger that set in when left unachieved.
Instead of a hasty reaction, Zwolinski says, giving the person the benefit of the doubt would be a more effective response. As he explained, it’s about assessing the situation without throwing accusations.
Taylor Counseling Group advises approaching with both kindness and firmness, noting that this balance makes you more respectable. But if these efforts fail, you may need to reevaluate the relationship.
The author will regularly encounter Amy, with whom she now has a strained relationship. It may be best to distance herself until Amy apologizes. At the very least, she can be civil with her.
Advice from people in the comments poured in
[UPDATE]
The woman provided an update to her story, revealing that she sat down with James and Amy
Their conversation made her see the bigger picture and realize that Amy’s gripes weren’t with her
Commenters had their opinions about the new developments
